Adventure Beyond the Stars – Written for Readers Who Want More

Category: Mirim’s First Christmas

  • Papa Kòt-Nwa and the Baroness

    Papa Kòt-Nwa and the Baroness

    Artemis Rising is #1,923 in Alternative History, #3,046 in Space Exploration Science Fiction, and #3,092 in Alternative History Science Fiction. If you don’t have yours yet, you can get the paper version here or the kindle version here. Four customer reviews now, but I need a few more to get Audible to take notice – if you’ve finished the book and haven’t left a review, please do so here.

    Celestial Accord isn’t ranked yet. If you don’t have yours yet, you can get the paper version here or the kindle version here. One review so far, thanks Michele! If you’ve finished the book and haven’t left a review, please do so here.

    You can get autographed copies of both books at the Richardson Farmer’s Market Saturday.

    Mirim’s First Christmas just went live. You can find the paper version here or the kindle version here. I’m still working on getting free versions to be available on my website.

    I needed another Old Ones daemon. This is what I came up with:
    Papa Kòt-Nwa (fic) – An Old One daemon who grants power to partially possess and trap souls. Feeds off the power of ritual worship, especially rituals enacted out of fear or dread.

    There are three first worshipers of Papa Kòt-Nwa in the story. Baroness Bahah, Qutab’s mother, Sahiqa and Nigarish. I’m actually kind of proud of the description of their dance of devotion to Papa Kòt-Nwa.

    Cover for Forging the Chain Breakers is final. Now I need the cover for Selene Unchained.

    I got a lot done on Selene Unchained this week. Thank you to Deborah who did an excellent job of protecting my writing time.

    Selene Unchained chapters this week:
    Zafir Burns His Hand renamed Kepler Station – finished
    Laughing Meadows Revisited
    Tunnel 45 Fort
    The Lesson of Forge 27
    Changing Tactics
    The Siege of Kopff Castle
    Raid on Kopff Station
    Battle of the Cloister
    Eldritch Summit – started

    Selene Unchained word count is 57,104, not counting Dramatis Personae (1,301 words).

    I worked on training ChatGPT to be my line editor. I added the style sheet from Celestial Accord to its training and had it review Mirim’s First Christmas. This is ChatGPT’s analysis:

    1. Narrative Voice & POV

    Style Sheet

    • Past tense
    • Omniscient narrator with selective interiority
    • Authoritative but restrained
    • Moral and cultural confidence without polemic

    Mirim’s First Christmas

    ✔ Exact match

    How it manifests in the manuscript

    • The narrator moves freely between:
      • Mirim’s perceptions
      • Observed social behavior
      • Cultural explanation
    • Interior thoughts are infrequent and purposeful
    • Moral judgments are implied through tone and consequence, not stated

    Notable reinforcement

    • The narrator never apologizes for tradition, faith, hierarchy, or ceremony.
    • Cultural authority is assumed, not argued.

    Conclusion:
    Mirim’s First Christmas is a textbook execution of the style sheet’s POV doctrine.

    2. Sentence Structure & Cadence

    Style Sheet

    • Medium-to-long sentences preferred
    • Subordinate clauses encouraged
    • Rhythm valued over brevity
    • Fragments allowed for voice, not laziness

    Mirim’s First Christmas

    ✔ Perfect alignment, with added sophistication

    Observed patterns

    • Frequent use of:
      • Parallel lists (foods, customs, people)
      • Clarifying clauses (“which,” “that,” “since”)
      • Gentle temporal framing (“After,” “As,” “When”)
    • Sentences often accumulate meaning rather than rush to a point

    Manuscript adds

    • A slightly more Edwardian hospitality cadence than the style sheet explicitly calls out
    • A strong “host explaining traditions to a guest” rhythm that recurs scene after scene

    Conclusion:
    The manuscript doesn’t just follow the rule—it teaches the reader how the rule feels in motion.

    3. Dialogue Philosophy

    Style Sheet

    • Dialogue serves culture, not conflict
    • Polite speech default
    • Humor through understatement and social friction
    • Dialogue punctuation follows Chicago with voice exceptions

    Mirim’s First Christmas

    ✔ Exemplary execution

    Key observations

    • Almost no confrontational dialogue
    • Characters explain, reminisce, instruct, tease
    • Humor arises from:
      • Cross-cultural misunderstanding
      • Generational differences
      • Gentle irony (especially Dolores, Eleanor, Nikola)

    Important nuance

    • Dialogue often carries exposition that would normally be narration
    • Speakers are trusted to be intelligent and articulate

    Conclusion:
    The manuscript is a model for how to embed exposition into dialogue without didacticism.

    4. Exposition & Worldbuilding

    Style Sheet

    • Embedded exposition preferred
    • Lists acceptable if contextualized
    • Worldbuilding revealed through lived experience

    Mirim’s First Christmas

    ✔ Strong confirmation

    How the manuscript uses exposition

    • Food as cultural memory
    • Ritual as theology-in-action
    • Architecture as values made physical
    • History revealed conversationally

    Where the manuscript goes further

    • Uses ritual density as pacing rather than plot
    • Treats traditions as events worth dwelling on

    This is not just allowed by the style sheet—it is its natural consequence.

    Conclusion:
    The manuscript validates that your style sheet supports “ceremonial fiction,” not plot-driven minimalism.

    5. Capitalization, Religion, and Terminology

    Style Sheet

    • Capitalize divine pronouns
    • Respect doctrinal distinctions
    • Precise theological language
    • Period-appropriate usage

    Mirim’s First Christmas

    ✔ Exact compliance

    Notable strengths

    • Orthodox, Catholic, Protestant distinctions handled carefully
    • Theology explained respectfully but confidently
    • Religious language is normal, not exoticized

    Important note

    • The manuscript proves that faith language can be frequent without becoming preachy when handled through tradition and lived practice.

    Conclusion:
    Mirim’s First Christmas is a working proof that the style sheet’s religious rules are narratively sustainable.

    6. Tone Toward Progress, Tradition, and Family

    Style Sheet

    • Civilization is inherited, not reinvented
    • Family and clan matter
    • Progress is additive, not destructive

    Mirim’s First Christmas

    ✔ Thematic alignment

    Observed emphasis

    • Marriage as covenant
    • Multi-generational continuity
    • Hospitality as moral action
    • Technology coexisting with ritual

    The manuscript does not merely obey the style—it embodies its worldview.

    7. Where Mirim’s First Christmas Adds to the Style Sheet

    These are not conflicts—these are emergent refinements you may wish to treat as implicit addenda:

    1. Ceremonial Density Is Acceptable
      1. Long stretches with minimal plot advancement are stylistically valid
    2. Lists Can Be Luxurious
      1. Food, customs, and names may be lingered over
    3. Domestic Grandeur Is a Legitimate Setting
      1. Mansions, tables, kitchens, and halls are as important as battlefields

    If you want to get early access to Book 3 chapters, write a nice review for Artemis Rising or Celestial Accord on Amazon or Goodreads, and email me that you’ve done it.

  • Mirim’s First Christmas

    Mirim’s First Christmas

    Artemis Rising is #882 in Steampunk Fiction (Kindle Store), #1,095 in Steampunk Fiction, and #2,414 in Alternative History. If you don’t have yours yet, you can get the paper version here or the kindle version here. Four customer reviews now, but I need a few more to get Audible to take notice – if you’ve finished the book and haven’t left a review, please do so here.

    Celestial Accord isn’t ranked yet. If you don’t have yours yet, you can get the paper version here or the kindle version here. One review so far, thanks Michele! If you’ve finished the book and haven’t left a review, please do so here.

    Mirim’s First Christmas is finished. It is a long short story or short novella – a little longer than one tenth of a novel in length. It is mostly just a ‘slice of life’ story that explores Christmas traditions in the 1890’s. I learned a lot of neat things researching it and plan to make the eBook available for free once I get the final cover.

    The first commercial oil field in Texas was in and around Corsicana in Navarro county. It started as a mistake when the Corsicana city fathers commissioned a water well that produced oil instead. In 1897, it produced 65,975 barrels of oil that year. Now days we talk about millions of barrels a day, but in 1897, that was a lot…

    Gresham Castle takes up most of the lot it is on and didn’t have space for a carriage house. The Greshams did have a phone, however. So what they would do is call the livery stable and hire a carriage for whatever they wanted to do. At least until Eleanor perfects her Air Carriage…

    I always thought the winged lions at the gate to the house were added when Bishop Byrnie moved in. Not so. They were installed as part of the original construction and were named Oscar and Zeke. Apparently the Galveston Historical Foundation have Josephine Gresham’s diaries and so they know for sure what the names were, although the docent said they didn’t know who was who. According to a Facebook post by Ernest McKelroy, the left one when facing the castle is Oscar and the right one is Zeke.

    The enormous front doors of Gresham Castle don’t swing open. They are pocket doors. There are also a second set of plainer pocket doors that can be pulled closed to protect the main doors in a storm, or to indicate the Gresham’s weren’t in residence at the time.

    Nicolas Clayton, the architect, included several interesting innovations in Gresham Castle. One was the book shelves in the library. The shelves are adjustable to accommodate different size books – something uncommon at the time. They also had doors that slide open instead of swinging open. He also designed the house to be able to capture the sea breeze that blew in to the front of the house. The ceilings were high, 14.5 feet on the first floor, 12-12.5 on the second and third floor. The hot air would rise to the ceilings, above where people were, and would circulate toward the grand staircase and rotunda. It would rise to vents in the dome on the third floor and vent into an area above the dome. That area had skylights that could be opened at the bottom to vent the hot air out of the house. It provided some air circulation. In addition to the 2 foot thick masonry walls, the house would have been much cooler than one would expect from a pre-AC house in Galveston, Texas.

    IRL, Walter Gresham Senior was called Col. Gresham. I’ve always assumed this was because he gained the rank in the Confederate Army. In reality, he was only an enlisted man in the army and purchased his commission later after he became a professional politician. In the post-Civil War south, every gentleman of substance needed to have the title ‘colonel’…

    In the Grand Staircase, one of the stained glass windows is of St. Teresa. It was put there by the bishop after the original cherub window was lost in a hurricane.

    The research trip to Galveston and work on Mirim’s First Christmas took up most of my writing efforts this past week, but I did get a couple thousand additional words written on Selene Unchained.

    Selene Unchained chapters this week:
    Zafir Takes a Hand – finished
    Zafir Burns His Hand – started

    Selene Unchained word count is 42,273, not counting Dramatis Personae (1,251 words).

  • New Story – Coming Soon

    New Story – Coming Soon

    Artemis Rising is #690 in Steampunk Fiction (Kindle Store), #947 in Steampunk Fiction, and #2,030 in Alternative History. If you don’t have yours yet, you can get the paper version here or the kindle version here. Four customer reviews now, but I need a few more to get Audible to take notice – if you’ve finished the book and haven’t left a review, please do so here.

    Celestial Accord isn’t ranked yet. If you don’t have yours yet, you can get the paper version here or the kindle version here. One review, thanks Michele! If you’ve finished the book and haven’t left a review, please do so here.

    Saturday I’ll be in Galveston doing research for Mirim’s First Christmas, so no autographing possibilities this weekend.

    Another version of Forging the Chain Breakers cover. Now the Troll is fine, but both Poot and Regdar need fixed.

    I’ve done some major rethinking about aether and “magic”. Check it out here.

    I got an invitation to try out Audible’s beta AI audio book creator. I’m also working through a course on using AI to help content creators. Between the two, I’ve decided to alter my production plans a little. I’m going to get a final version of the cover for Forging the Chain Breakers, then get the cover for Selene Unchained. When I have the covers for all four of the books in the series, I’m going to get boxed set art for the series, Selene Reborn. As far as writing goes, I’m going to finish Selene Unchained first. That way it is ready to go to Sandra in March. Forging the Chain Breakers is ready to go to Sandra in February. While I’m waiting for them I’m going to go back through Artemis Rising and do as much review and improvement as I can. Then I’ll send it to Michael for line editing. Once it is through line editing, I’ll either get Audible AI Beta to turn it into audio recordings – and an audiobook, or I’ll use some of the tools I’m learning in the AI Content Creation course to get audio recordings. Once I have the recordings, I’ll turn the recordings into YouTube videos without much of a graphic, then videos with B-roll images, then, maybe, videos with AI generated moving pictures. Once I get into that area, I will re-establish my Patreon page. $5 Cheering Section $10 [Midtier] and $100 Patron. I’ll post everything to the Patron level as soon as it is ready. I’ll post top level video (whatever that is) to Midtier one chapter per week and leave it for a while before retiring it. That way you have to be a Midtier member for more than one month to see the videos for an entire book. I’ll post top level video in Cheering Section a week after Midtier, but it will stay up only half as long. YouTube will get the first half of a book and only the first chapter at top level video. It will stay up all the time, but you can never get the whole book just on YouTube. Cheering Section gets audio and information on behind the scenes. Eventually there may be recordings from on-line get togethers with Patrons and Midtiers. Midtiers get longer, more complete access to stuff and eventually live get-togethers and recordings with Patrons. Patrons will get on-line get togethers sooner and/or more often. They will also get information about what specific things their contributions are paying for (editing, covers, etc.). Patrons will also be mentioned in the Acknowledgements. I’m also planning on using AI to improve my marketing materials and start more actively marketing my books as soon as I learn enough from the AI content creator course. At least all that is my current thinking.

    I decided to put everything on hold and put together a 7k-8k story of Mirim’s First Christmas. This will be the freebe (at least for a while). The reason for the size is that it will allow me to print a booklet version that the Galveston Historical Society can sell in their gift shop at Bishop’s Palace. I have about 7,500 words, but that includes notes and doesn’t include a lot of the story that the notes will be folded into. It also includes some recipes that may or may not end up in the final version.

    As part of the AI Content Creator course I’m working through, I uploaded Celestial Accord to ChatGPT and asked it to analyze my style. Results:

    • Omniscient but disciplined narration: clear viewpoint control, smooth transitions between exposition, dialogue, and interior reflection.
    • Intellectual density without haste: ideas, politics, technology, and theology are unpacked carefully, not rushed.
    • Competent characters: people think, plan, explain, and reason; conflict comes from circumstances and values, not stupidity.
    • Measured, classical prose: modern readability with a late-19th/early-20th-century cadence; restrained metaphors; clarity favored over flash.
    • Dialogue that carries ideas: conversations advance worldbuilding, strategy, ethics, and relationships simultaneously.
    • Implicit moral framework: faith, duty, hierarchy, and responsibility are present but not preached—shown through choices and consequences.

    That’s pretty cool.

    Selene Unchained chapters this week:
    Qutab’s Revelations
    Zafir Plots Revenge
    Zafir Takes a Hand – started.

    Selene Unchained word count is 40,310, not counting Dramatis Personae (1,251 words).

    If you want to get early access to Book 3 chapters, write a nice review for Artemis Rising or Celestial Accord on Amazon or Goodreads, and email me that you’ve done it.